Sleep Training.. for EVERYONE
Sleep training doesn’t have to mean hearing your baby or toddler scream for you for hours on end until you give up. It doesn’t have to mean giving up your bed for your little one to be smushed between mom and dad. Sleep training doesn’t have to be scary.
I personally have slept train all three of my children-working now on our newborn daughter I have decided to share my tips and tricks!
The BEST time to start sleep training is when you come home from the hospital. It sounds crazy but bear with me. This is when your child is the most susceptible to a new routine and new everything. Starting from the beginning also reduces chances dealing with the “cry it out” method, which most parents are against. However, this doesn’t mean you’ve missed your window of opportunity if your child isn’t a newborn, I'll address older children later on.
Bringing home baby means a whole new routine. Sleep training isn’t just at night either, in the beginning daytime is very important. During the day, try to keep windows open, or lights on. Even when baby is napping. Making a room too dark during the day will confuse baby. At bedtime, make sure it’s dark, windows closed, soft lighting for nightlights and not directly in babies face. Same goes for noise, daytime naps don’t have to be silent. Keeping the TV on, or normal talking voices are okay. Nighttime should be whispers and soft music. These steps help train baby to subconsciously understand daytime versus nighttime. As baby grows they will sleep lighter during the day and heavier at night. Progressing into full nights and small naps during the day. But be patient! Every baby is different and their needs will change. During the day make sure to talk to and play with baby while they are awake as much as possible. Otherwise baby will sleep all day and not be tired by bedtime!
Bedtime should become a routine as well. Try to start at the same time each night and get up the same time each morning. Baby will adapt and eventually get tired and wake up at the same times. Routine is essential to babies and children. Your family’s routine will be different of course but here is my routine as an example.
After my older two get into bed, 8pm and 8:30pm (5 years and 2 years.) I move my baby basket (with all my essential supplies, diapers, wipes, pump, extra outfit, burp cloth, etc.) into my bedroom area. I set up my bed and babies bed for comfort, I use the bathroom and get myself ready for bed. Then it’s lights off and a soft nightlight on. I take baby into bedroom and set lullabies on. Baby gets a diaper change, I rub baby down with bedtime lotion (seriously, Johnson's purple lotion is a lifesaver) and a fresh onesie. Then I feed baby. I personally breastfeed but a bottle or formula will do the same thing! Make sure to let baby eat as much as they need, don’t stop baby or limit amount. Burp baby every so often during the feeding though and make sure all the bubbles are out-an upset tummy will prevent baby from being able to sleep! Once baby is done eating and burping, softing swaddle baby without jostling too much or being noisy. I suggest only using a swaddle blanket at night, this REALLY helps baby understand bedtime! Wrap baby tight with arms down and make sure they can breath and are comfortable. I choose not to rock baby to sleep because then they get adjusted to being rocked to sleep and that can affect mamas sleep! I hold baby until eyes begin to get heavy and baby stops wiggling in swaddle. Then I lay baby (on back) into bed. Don’t allow baby to fall asleep on you. This helps prevent baby from crying whenever set into bed.
Throughout the night, baby isn’t going to fall asleep and stay asleep for the whole night off the bat. It will take some time, all babies are different. With my first it took a few days, my second took a few months and my third just two weeks. However, during the period where baby is adjusting baby will wake up. Upon each wake, make sure baby is in a dry diaper and swaddled correctly. Feed baby if hungry and make sure, again, all burps are out. Do not lay baby back down until everything is checked, baby is full and eyes are beginning to be heavy again. During this wake time, use a soft voice only when needed, try not to unnecessarily talk or make noise. Keep lights off and only use the soft nightlight. Gentle touching and no jostling baby. These wake times will slowly become shorter and leas frequent.
Sleep training an older child can be a bit more difficult. An older child has already adjusted to a routine. This doesn’t mean to give up though mama! Starting with a child who sleeps in your bed. This is generally unsafe and also bad for the child's routine. If you need your child close try a crib or toddler bed in your room but do not allow child into your bed. “My space and your space” these words will help even a toddler understand. Children do need their own space and should feel comfortable in their own bed. If old enough allow them to pick their own blankets, sheets, pillows or a special stuffed animal to sleep with. This encourages them to understand this is their special space.
Most of the same rules apply, if your child takes naps during the day try to limit them to one. Activities and play are essential during the day so they get tired. Daytime and nighttime rules are same, lighting, soft voices.
Routine should include the child and should allow them some independence. An hour before try to not allow any food or sugar drinks. Milk or water only. (If potty training limit intake) At “bedtime” child should have a bathroom routine, brush teeth, go potty, put PJs on. This should be done quietly and calmly. Tuck child in but do not climb into their bed. Read a book or sing a soft song next to their bed. Remember, bed is CHILDS AREA. Routine can be reading a certain amount of books. Then say goodnight and exit room or area. Discussion beforehand of child staying in bed, closing eyes and not being afraid helps as well. If child needs a nightlight or lullabies allow them this comfort.
Again, this will not work on the first night. If you choose, cry it out can be put into place as well. Allow a few minutes of crying before entering room, placing child back down, tucking in and leaving. Do not speak. Slowly allow a few more minutes to pass each time before entering but do not allow child to become hysterical, this can damage their attachment. If you don’t believe in cry it out you can go in room each time and carry out the same method, lay child down but do not speak. This may take a bit longer but should work just as well. For an older child who gets out of bed you may have to sit by door, when child gets out or leaves room take them back to bed each time. Do not speak.
In the morning when child wakes up make sure to greet them happily and use phrases such as “good job” “how did you sleep” “good morning” etc. Allowing child to feel good about their sleep and excited for the morning will help them feel a sense of accomplishment.
It seems like a lot of work but after a few nights-at any age-of routine and working together you should see progress and it will become easier. Sleep training benefits everyone but it is essential parents and children are on the same page. If one parent doesn’t follow the rules and routine the child will become confused and unable to adapt. Discuss your own family's rules and routine before beginning training. Celebrate any progress as well, even if it’s an extra hour then usual of sleep. Only celebrate in the morning. Bedtime should remain quiet and calm-always.
Good luck mamas and sleepy babies!!
The BEST time to start sleep training is when you come home from the hospital. It sounds crazy but bear with me. This is when your child is the most susceptible to a new routine and new everything. Starting from the beginning also reduces chances dealing with the “cry it out” method, which most parents are against. However, this doesn’t mean you’ve missed your window of opportunity if your child isn’t a newborn, I'll address older children later on.
Bringing home baby means a whole new routine. Sleep training isn’t just at night either, in the beginning daytime is very important. During the day, try to keep windows open, or lights on. Even when baby is napping. Making a room too dark during the day will confuse baby. At bedtime, make sure it’s dark, windows closed, soft lighting for nightlights and not directly in babies face. Same goes for noise, daytime naps don’t have to be silent. Keeping the TV on, or normal talking voices are okay. Nighttime should be whispers and soft music. These steps help train baby to subconsciously understand daytime versus nighttime. As baby grows they will sleep lighter during the day and heavier at night. Progressing into full nights and small naps during the day. But be patient! Every baby is different and their needs will change. During the day make sure to talk to and play with baby while they are awake as much as possible. Otherwise baby will sleep all day and not be tired by bedtime!
Bedtime should become a routine as well. Try to start at the same time each night and get up the same time each morning. Baby will adapt and eventually get tired and wake up at the same times. Routine is essential to babies and children. Your family’s routine will be different of course but here is my routine as an example.
After my older two get into bed, 8pm and 8:30pm (5 years and 2 years.) I move my baby basket (with all my essential supplies, diapers, wipes, pump, extra outfit, burp cloth, etc.) into my bedroom area. I set up my bed and babies bed for comfort, I use the bathroom and get myself ready for bed. Then it’s lights off and a soft nightlight on. I take baby into bedroom and set lullabies on. Baby gets a diaper change, I rub baby down with bedtime lotion (seriously, Johnson's purple lotion is a lifesaver) and a fresh onesie. Then I feed baby. I personally breastfeed but a bottle or formula will do the same thing! Make sure to let baby eat as much as they need, don’t stop baby or limit amount. Burp baby every so often during the feeding though and make sure all the bubbles are out-an upset tummy will prevent baby from being able to sleep! Once baby is done eating and burping, softing swaddle baby without jostling too much or being noisy. I suggest only using a swaddle blanket at night, this REALLY helps baby understand bedtime! Wrap baby tight with arms down and make sure they can breath and are comfortable. I choose not to rock baby to sleep because then they get adjusted to being rocked to sleep and that can affect mamas sleep! I hold baby until eyes begin to get heavy and baby stops wiggling in swaddle. Then I lay baby (on back) into bed. Don’t allow baby to fall asleep on you. This helps prevent baby from crying whenever set into bed.
Throughout the night, baby isn’t going to fall asleep and stay asleep for the whole night off the bat. It will take some time, all babies are different. With my first it took a few days, my second took a few months and my third just two weeks. However, during the period where baby is adjusting baby will wake up. Upon each wake, make sure baby is in a dry diaper and swaddled correctly. Feed baby if hungry and make sure, again, all burps are out. Do not lay baby back down until everything is checked, baby is full and eyes are beginning to be heavy again. During this wake time, use a soft voice only when needed, try not to unnecessarily talk or make noise. Keep lights off and only use the soft nightlight. Gentle touching and no jostling baby. These wake times will slowly become shorter and leas frequent.
Sleep training an older child can be a bit more difficult. An older child has already adjusted to a routine. This doesn’t mean to give up though mama! Starting with a child who sleeps in your bed. This is generally unsafe and also bad for the child's routine. If you need your child close try a crib or toddler bed in your room but do not allow child into your bed. “My space and your space” these words will help even a toddler understand. Children do need their own space and should feel comfortable in their own bed. If old enough allow them to pick their own blankets, sheets, pillows or a special stuffed animal to sleep with. This encourages them to understand this is their special space.
Most of the same rules apply, if your child takes naps during the day try to limit them to one. Activities and play are essential during the day so they get tired. Daytime and nighttime rules are same, lighting, soft voices.
Routine should include the child and should allow them some independence. An hour before try to not allow any food or sugar drinks. Milk or water only. (If potty training limit intake) At “bedtime” child should have a bathroom routine, brush teeth, go potty, put PJs on. This should be done quietly and calmly. Tuck child in but do not climb into their bed. Read a book or sing a soft song next to their bed. Remember, bed is CHILDS AREA. Routine can be reading a certain amount of books. Then say goodnight and exit room or area. Discussion beforehand of child staying in bed, closing eyes and not being afraid helps as well. If child needs a nightlight or lullabies allow them this comfort.
Again, this will not work on the first night. If you choose, cry it out can be put into place as well. Allow a few minutes of crying before entering room, placing child back down, tucking in and leaving. Do not speak. Slowly allow a few more minutes to pass each time before entering but do not allow child to become hysterical, this can damage their attachment. If you don’t believe in cry it out you can go in room each time and carry out the same method, lay child down but do not speak. This may take a bit longer but should work just as well. For an older child who gets out of bed you may have to sit by door, when child gets out or leaves room take them back to bed each time. Do not speak.
In the morning when child wakes up make sure to greet them happily and use phrases such as “good job” “how did you sleep” “good morning” etc. Allowing child to feel good about their sleep and excited for the morning will help them feel a sense of accomplishment.
It seems like a lot of work but after a few nights-at any age-of routine and working together you should see progress and it will become easier. Sleep training benefits everyone but it is essential parents and children are on the same page. If one parent doesn’t follow the rules and routine the child will become confused and unable to adapt. Discuss your own family's rules and routine before beginning training. Celebrate any progress as well, even if it’s an extra hour then usual of sleep. Only celebrate in the morning. Bedtime should remain quiet and calm-always.
Good luck mamas and sleepy babies!!
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